{"id":1577,"date":"2023-10-04T19:09:41","date_gmt":"2023-10-04T19:09:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/?p=1577"},"modified":"2023-10-04T19:13:22","modified_gmt":"2023-10-04T19:13:22","slug":"defterimde-kus-sesleri","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/?p=1577","title":{"rendered":"“Defterimde Ku\u015f Sesleri”"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\u2018Defterimde Ku\u015f Sesleri\u2019(1), Erdal \u00d6z’\u00fcn an\u0131lar kitab\u0131, 400 sayfa; iki haftada okudum! 12 Mart’l\u0131 y\u0131llar\u0131 anlat\u0131yor. Bir a\u011f\u0131t destan gibi an\u0131lar! Ac\u0131larla y\u00fckl\u00fc. Bir devlet yahut darbeciler bir yazara hi\u00e7 hak etmedi\u011fi halde bunca ac\u0131lar \u00e7ektirebilir mi? Bir yazar solcu diye bu denli kincilik niye?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kitab\u0131 okurken etkilendim, h\u00fcz\u00fcnlendim, duyguland\u0131m, \u00f6fkelendim, duruldum! Nesnel olamam bu t\u00fcrl\u00fc ac\u0131lar kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda, \u00f6znelim ben! Kitapta bir\u00e7ok \u00f6rnek var buna dair. U\u00e7ak m\u0131 ka\u00e7\u0131rm\u0131\u015f yazar? \u015eunca zaman ge\u00e7mi\u015f, yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 an\u0131larda ka\u00e7\u0131rmad\u0131m diyor. Onlar da biliyor \u00d6z’\u00fcn u\u00e7ak ka\u00e7\u0131rmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ama ama\u00e7 ba\u015fka, tutuklamak onu! Koskocaman
devlet yahut darbeciler bir yazardan korkuyor mu? Ha\u015fa, niye korksun? Yellerinin ard\u0131 da \u00f6n\u00fc de y\u0131kar onlar\u0131n!
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir yazar u\u00e7ak ka\u00e7\u0131rsa ne yazar? Vurursun eline, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcrs\u00fcn kalemi (!) atars\u0131n kokulu, so\u011fuk, k\u0131s\u0131k h\u00fccrelere, basars\u0131n i\u015fkenceyi! Yapars\u0131n da bo\u015f mu durur o? Seni yaz\u0131yor, anlat\u0131yor i\u015fte kitab\u0131nda. \u00c7\u0131k\u0131yor darbenin aynas\u0131 ortaya. Darbeciler \u015fimdi ne yap\u0131yor; var m\u0131 onlar\u0131n di\u015fe dokunur bir eseri?
Al\u0131nt\u0131layal\u0131m okuduklar\u0131m\u0131zdan:
\u201cKlasik bat\u0131 m\u00fczi\u011fi sevilmiyor ko\u011fu\u015fta. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kar\u015f\u0131 devrimci; neden? Burjuva m\u00fczi\u011fi de ondan. Devrimci m\u00fczik hangisi? Halk\u0131m\u0131z devrimci mi? Neden devrim yapm\u0131yor o zaman?\u201d<\/em> (s.57)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O y\u0131llarda b\u00f6yle bir anlay\u0131\u015f vard\u0131. Halk gibi giyinmek, ‘birinci’ sigaras\u0131 i\u00e7mek, halk t\u00fcrk\u00fcleri s\u00f6ylemek\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Halk kendisini horlayana, ezene yaln\u0131zca t\u00fcrk\u00fclerle yan\u0131t veriyordu. ‘Ad\u0131 Yemen’dir\/G\u00fcl\u00fc \u00e7emendir\/Giden gelmiyor\/Acep nedendir?’ yahut ‘Erzurum da\u011flar\u0131 kar ile boran\/Ald\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011fimi dert ile verem’ ya da ‘Koyun olduk, ses anlad\u0131k, s\u00fcr\u00fcye sayd\u0131lar bizi’ (\u2026) diyordu ama, bunlar\u0131n nedenini ara\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131yor, aya\u011fa kalkm\u0131yor, kar\u015f\u0131 durmuyordu.
Yazg\u0131c\u0131 bir anlay\u0131\u015fla sineye \u00e7ekiyordu. Bug\u00fcn bile pek fazla bir \u015fey de\u011fi\u015fmi\u015f de\u011fil. Feodalizm s\u00fcr\u00fcyor! Adam\u0131n alt\u0131nda Mercedes var, jet’e biniyor, TV izliyor, bilgisayar kullan\u0131yor; ama bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc feodal kafay\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmiyor. B\u00f6yle bir halk\u0131 var \u00fclkenin. Bu kafa ile devrim olmaz!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cO g\u00fcn eve bask\u0131n yapt\u0131klar\u0131, beni al\u0131p g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fckleri ak\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc k\u0131z\u0131m odas\u0131nda uyuyordu. G\u00f6revliler evi alt\u00fcst ediyorlard\u0131, o kadar s\u00f6yledim, rica ettim ald\u0131rmad\u0131lar, uyumakta oldu\u011fu odaya, hem de kap\u0131y\u0131 tekmeleyerek girdiler, korkuyla s\u0131\u00e7ray\u0131p uyand\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131m (Darbecilerin k\u0131zlar\u0131 da b\u00f6yle mi uyand\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yor acep?), yata\u011f\u0131n \u00fczerinde oturup
e\u015fk\u0131yan\u0131n odas\u0131ndaki ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar\u0131 izledi. Her \u015feyi, her k\u00f6\u015feyi ara\u015ft\u0131r\u0131p alt\u00fcst ettiler. Gelenleri arkada\u015flar\u0131m olarak, tan\u0131tmaya anlatmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. (Siz de k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131za b\u00f6yle yalanlar uydurdunuz mu?) Hi\u00e7 birinde en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir arkada\u015fl\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc yoktu.(\u2026) Sonra da beni ite kaka al\u0131p evden \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131lar. \u00c7\u0131karken kom\u015fulara ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordum, ‘annesine
haber verin, annesi eczanede n\u00f6bet\u00e7i, k\u0131z\u0131m evde yaln\u0131z, haber verin.’ (Siz hi\u00e7 b\u00f6yle duygu ya\u015fad\u0131n\u0131z m\u0131 darbeciler?) Kar\u0131m\u0131n eczanesi y\u00fcz metre \u00f6tedeydi. Haber vermemi\u015f kom\u015fular. (Onlar da d\u00fc\u015fman kesilir o g\u00fcnlerde de\u011fil mi ya!) Kar\u0131m eczaneyi kalfas\u0131na gece yar\u0131s\u0131 b\u0131rak\u0131p eve d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f. K\u0131z\u0131m o saate kadar korku i\u00e7inde yapayaln\u0131z kalm\u0131\u015f. Uzun s\u00fcre kekemelik \u00e7ekmi\u015f. Ruhsal sars\u0131nt\u0131 ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f\u2026\u201d<\/em> (s.93) (Sizin k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131z da b\u00f6yle \u015feyler ya\u015fad\u0131 m\u0131?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026 Pa\u015fa’n\u0131n odas\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015flerdi beni. (\u2026)’ Ad\u0131n ne senin \u00e7ocu\u011fum?\u2026’ Yumu\u015fak sorulard\u0131 bunlar! \u00d6n\u00fcndeki k\u00e2\u011f\u0131da bak\u0131yordu, birden aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131. ‘Be ito\u011flu it o paralar\u0131 nerden ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyor muyuz san\u0131yorsun? Git ulan Rusya’ya orospu \u00e7ocu\u011fu.’ (O g\u00fcnlerde Rusya’ya, Rusya’ya Moskova’ya diye ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131rlard\u0131. Sonra kendileri gittiler Moskova\u2019ya!) \u00d6b\u00fcr komutan da aya\u011fa kalkm\u0131\u015ft\u0131, beni g\u00f6stererek ‘B\u00fct\u00fcn kom\u00fcnist kitaplar\u0131n da\u011f\u0131t\u0131m yeri bunun kitapevi komutan\u0131m’ dedi. Bunun \u00fczerine pa\u015fa \u00fczerime gelmi\u015f, y\u00fcz\u00fcme t\u00fck\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f, beni tokatlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131, sonra da kovmu\u015ftu odas\u0131ndan.\u201d<\/em> (s.98)
(Acaba pa\u015fa bu sat\u0131rlar\u0131 okudu mu? (2).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N’oldu ki? Demirel’e bol gelen Anayasa’y\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirdi darbeciler! \u00d6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn \u00fcst\u00fcne \u015fal \u00f6rten bir de Ba\u015fbakan buldular. Ezdiler gen\u00e7leri. \u015eimdi de gen\u00e7 kalmad\u0131 \u00fclkede. \u0130mamlarla, hocalarla, \u00e7ar\u015fafl\u0131larla, t\u00fcrbanl\u0131larla idare ediyorlar!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c \u2018\u2026Reis sen iyi belgeliyorsun’ dedi Deniz, ‘Che Guavera’y\u0131 belgeledi\u011fin \u00f6yk\u00fcn \u00e7ok iyiydi. Belgeye dayal\u0131 iyi \u015feyler yazacaks\u0131n sen; bizi de yazmal\u0131s\u0131n.’ \u015ea\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. ‘Bizi sen yazacaks\u0131n’ dedi. ‘Bizim \u015fu an tek g\u00f6rg\u00fc tan\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z sensin. Boku bokuna as\u0131l\u0131p gidece\u011fiz. Yan\u0131m\u0131za sokulan tek yazar sensin. Bizlerden sen sorumlusun reis. Bizleri iyice incele.
Bize sorular sor, gereken her \u015feyi \u00f6\u011fren, yaz bizi. Yazar m\u0131s\u0131n? Yazar\u0131m tabii.\u201d<\/em> (s.134)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yazd\u0131 da, ‘G\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fcn Soldu\u011fu Ak\u015fam.’ \u0130yi ki i\u00e7eri girmi\u015fsin demek i\u00e7imden gelmiyor Sevgili yazar; Deniz Gezmi\u015f’i\/arkada\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7in, iyi ki i\u00e7eri girmi\u015fsin! Bir an\u0131y\u0131 okuyorum gibi gelmedi kitap bana. Bir roman okuyorum d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesine girdim!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be\u015fir Amca, Erdal \u00d6z’e \u015f\u00f6yle anlat\u0131yor o\u011flu Yusuf’un \u00f6l\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc; y\u00fcrek dayan\u0131r gibi de\u011fil!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCenazelerin yan\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcler. Gus\u00fclhanedeydiler, tabutlar\u0131n i\u00e7indeydiler. \u00dc\u00e7 ayr\u0131 odac\u0131\u011fa konmu\u015ftu tabutlar. G\u00f6sterilen odac\u0131\u011fa girdim, tabut bir masan\u0131n \u00fczerindeydi, kapa\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7 tabutun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc de kapaks\u0131zd\u0131. Ben yaln\u0131zca Yusuf’umu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Arka\u00fcst\u00fc yat\u0131yordu. Aya\u011f\u0131nda botlar\u0131 vard\u0131. Haki kadife pantolon, \u00fczerinde gri h\u0131rka. Y\u00fcz\u00fc sararm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Tutamad\u0131m kendimi, a\u011flad\u0131m, \u00f6pt\u00fcm, ok\u015fad\u0131m. Bo\u011faz\u0131nda urgan\u0131n siyah izi vard\u0131. Bo\u011faz\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131 \u015fi\u015fmi\u015fti. Dokundum, ta\u015f gibiydi.\u201d<\/em> (s.161)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu \u00e7ocuklar kimi \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc? Otuz bin ki\u015fiyi mi \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc T\u00fcrkiye’de? Yoksa Kuyucu Murat m\u0131yd\u0131 bunlar? Menemen’de Kubilay’\u0131 m\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015flerdi? Tam ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z T\u00fcrkiye istemek, defol Amerika demek\u2026 su\u00e7 muydu? Allah a\u015fk\u0131na neydi bu darbe?!
xxx<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cE\u015fik var, sa\u011fa d\u00f6n. Merdiven ba\u015fl\u0131yor. Be\u015f basamak kald\u0131. Tamam, \u015fimdi do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fc. Sa\u011fa d\u00f6n. Ver elini. Tamam. \u015eimdi arabaya biniyorsun. Bir aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r. Biraz daha. Tamam. Bas \u015fimdi. E\u011f ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131. Daha e\u011f. Ver elini. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rma. Tamam. Sola d\u00f6n \u015fimdi. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rmadan y\u00fcr\u00fc. Tamam. Otur.\u201d<\/em> (s.240)<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Size ne anlat\u0131r bu s\u00f6zler? Kesik kesik, soluk soluk\u2026 Biri, bir g\u00f6rmezi mi g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcyor san\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z? De\u011fil, sorgulayacaklar birazdan yazar\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026 Y\u00fcz\u00fcme bir s\u0131cakl\u0131k vurdu. B\u00fcy\u00fck\u00e7e bir lambay\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcme yakla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 anlad\u0131m. Sonras\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek bile istemiyorum\u2026\u201d<\/em> (s.255)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Siz olsan\u0131z ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrs\u00fcn\u00fcz?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026 Akl\u0131m sevgilimdeydi. (\u2026) Durmadan i\u00e7iyordum. (\u2026) Birden g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcler silindi, net g\u00fczel bir g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fc geldi oturdu g\u00f6zlerime. Oydu. (\u2026) \u00dcst kata \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131lar. Biraz \u00f6temizdeki iki ki\u015filik k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir masaya e\u015fiyle birlikte oturdu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. \u015ei\u015fman, k\u0131skan\u0131lmayacak kadar hantal biriydi. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 \u015farapla yar\u0131ya kadar doldurulan bardaklar\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p toku\u015fturdular. \u0130\u00e7im yan\u0131yordu. Ben de rak\u0131 barda\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p diktim ba\u015f\u0131ma. (\u2026) Birden g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze geldik. Kalk\u0131p bana gelmeye yeltendi. \u0130\u00e7imde bir bomba patlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 sanki, parampar\u00e7a oldu y\u00fcre\u011fim. F\u0131rlad\u0131m yerimden sa\u011fa sola \u00e7arparak h\u0131zla merdivenlerden indim\u2026\u201d <\/em>(s.267)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A\u015fk\u0131n yapt\u0131r\u0131m\u0131 darbeden g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc m\u00fc ne? \u0130\u015fkencelere dayan, ama sevgilinin ba\u015fka birine gitmesine dayanama! Bu da feodal bir kal\u0131nt\u0131 de\u011fil mi? Her nedense bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc empati kuram\u0131yoruz!
xxx<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\u201c\u2026 Valizimi toparlad\u0131m. Yaz\u0131l\u0131 karar cezaevine ak\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fcne do\u011fru geldi. Ad\u0131m\u0131 seslenip ‘hadi’ dediklerinde, h\u00e2l\u00e2 \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nd\u0131m. Arkada\u015flarla \u00f6p\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp ayr\u0131ld\u0131m. Beni bu kez kelep\u00e7esiz olarak bir jeepe bindirip b\u00fcy\u00fck k\u0131\u015flan\u0131n ana kap\u0131s\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131lar\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

D\u0131\u015farda ku\u015f sesleri vard\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


(\u0131) Defterimde Ku\u015f Sesleri- Erdal \u00d6z, Can Yay\u0131nlar\u0131, Bask\u0131, 2003, \u0130stanbul.
(2) Parantezli s\u00f6zler bana ait. MDB<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2018Defterimde Ku\u015f Sesleri\u2019(1), Erdal \u00d6z’\u00fcn an\u0131lar kitab\u0131, 400 sayfa; iki haftada okudum! 12 Mart’l\u0131 y\u0131llar\u0131 anlat\u0131yor. Bir a\u011f\u0131t destan gibi an\u0131lar! Ac\u0131larla y\u00fckl\u00fc. Bir devlet yahut darbeciler bir yazara hi\u00e7 hak etmedi\u011fi halde bunca ac\u0131lar \u00e7ektirebilir mi? Bir yazar solcu diye bu denli kincilik niye? Kitab\u0131 okurken etkilendim, h\u00fcz\u00fcnlendim, duyguland\u0131m, \u00f6fkelendim, duruldum! Nesnel olamam bu […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1579,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[40],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1577"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1577"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1577\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1585,"href":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1577\/revisions\/1585"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1579"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1577"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1577"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yasamsanat.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1577"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}